Okay, so it occurred to me last night that this was truly my first week of school too. I feel like I have been hit by a mack truck at this point. I can only imagine how little Nolan is feeling. We have been overloaded with information. We have had three meetings in the past few weeks, tons of paperwork to sign, forms to fill out, checks to write and rules to learn - it has been too much to absorb! Nolan is taking it all in and doing a great job. He has been very hungry and very tired at the end of each day - I guess school just takes it all out of him. Poor guy! I am SO proud of him. I have quite a few moments where I felt like one of "those" moms...you know the one...the one that lets their kids run through the clothes racks, ride on the shopping cart, go into a store without shoes or just generally does anything and everything YOU would never do as a mother.
Let's run down the things I have "learned" this week -
Day 1 - Packed Nolan's lunch, snack and water bottle. Did not include a drink in his snack box because I assumed he would drink his water. After school Nolan asked why I didn't pack juice in his snack box. I had visions of Nolan being the only student without a drink at snack time. I felt like one of those moms.
All of the moms gather outside to wait for the kids to come out. I felt weird because they were all talking to each other and waving hi to others. I do not know a single parent at his school at this point. It was SO awkward to stand out there alone for 15 minutes. I also was thinking about how I had taken off work to be able to pick him up and they were just the stay at home mom's that get to do this everyday. It made me feel so sad. I knew that they would always label me as one of those moms.
Day 2 - Packed Nolan's lunch, snack (with juice) and his water bottle. After school Nolan asked me why I packed a juice box with snack..."You know I'm not allowed to have juice with snack." What? No, I didn't know that and you asked for it the day before. At the teacher meeting that night I asked about it and she explained that they only allow water in the classroom (which makes sense). Ugh! Lesson Learned - Never trust the student on the rules. I felt like one of those moms.
At the parent meeting that night the principal talked to us about letting the kids walk themselves into the school in the morning. She gave this big speech about how we have given them the confidence and skills to do it; we just need to step back and allow them to try. I am SO not ready to just drop Nolan off and say "see ya" on day 2. I not only felt like but I certainly AM one of those moms. And anyways, isn't this one of those situations where you are one of those moms either way...if you drop them and never walk them in the you look like the absent parent, if you go in everyday and hover over them then you are too involved. Ugh! Lesson learned - You are going to be one those moms no matter what, so you might as well get over it.
Day 3 - Nolan asked to bring a book to school and told me that Mrs. Maurer said that they could. I thought, remember what you learned. I told Nolan that he could not take the book but that we would send a note to school and ask Mrs. Maurer if he could bring one on Thursday. She sent a note back home that said "Of course it's okay to bring a book to share with the class." Ugh! Lesson Learned - Maybe trust the student sometime on the rules. I felt like one of those moms.
Day 4 - We have walked to school each day and practiced going to the "cafe" before 8:05 and going straight to class after 8:05. I thought we were now prepared for whatever might happen before school. It was sprinkling so I decided to drive him to the school and in the car. I asked Nolan if he thought he could walk in without me and go straight to the "cafe". He said no, so I told him that I would pull in park and walk him in. We got to the circle drive in front of the school and there are four lanes to choose from. I am super confused about which lane to drive in, so of course I chose the one with the least amount of traffic. I was just thinking about how great it was that we got all the way up to the door when I realized that the lane must be for driving through only or something because no one is stopping or letting out children. The crossing guard starts waving me on and a car behind me honks. I tell Nolan to get on his backpack and get out and walk to the front doors because I realized there is no where for me to pull over to get out with him. He was confused and I was getting flustered. I could feel everyone in the parking lot saying "You're doing it wrong!" Like that scene from the movie Mr. Mom. It was just like that. The crossing guard walks over to my car and starts to tell me the rules for each lane. She helps Nolan get across traffic and motions for me to get going. I couldn't even see Nolan get in the door. It was so traumatizing. I am sure she was thinking, lady, it's Thursday - you should know this by now! I wanted to find a parking spot and hunt Nolan down to make sure he made it the 15ft walk from the front door to the cafe, I wanted to talk to the crossing guard and let her know that we had walked all week so I was still "new" at this - but I didn't. I just teared up for a second and drove on to work. Ugh! Lesson learned - Traffic stops for no one, especially at the Elementary school. I REALLY felt like one of those moms.
Day 5 - It's finally Friday - yay! We made it through a whole week. I looked at the lunch menu and asked Nolan if he wanted to buy lunch from school. It was pizza day and I thought he might be ready for a break from sandwiches. I still have not put money in his "account". (They do a lunch account where the kids have to learn pin number and just punch it in to pay for lunch.) He did not want to do that. I think he is still a little scared which I have been thankful for because it is stressful to me. I just can't see my baby carrying a lunch tray, picking out foods and checking out with his pin number. That seems like a 1st grade thing to do. :) So since he didn't want to try to buy a lunch yet then I packed it. I haven't been asking him what he wants each day. (other than the first day when he went with me to the store and picked out stuff) This morning I made the mistake of asking him what he would like and he then told me all of the things he didn't want. (which are all of the things I packed him all week that HE picked out) He then told me about how he hasn't been eating most of it and just throws it away at the end of the lunch period. Again, what??? I assumed when I was opening that empty lunch each night that it was gone because he ate it. Ugh! Lesson learned - ASK them what they want to eat each day or expect that they will NOT be eating it and go hungry. No wonder the kid has been starving at night and eating double what he typically eats. I felt like one of those moms.
Not sure what to think about all of the lessons I have learned. I hope I remember this post when my kids are in 6th grade, I'm president of the PTA, besties with all of the other parents and we rule the school. :) I will try not to be to critical of those moms. (especially the new ones)
