John MacArthur said “Sometimes love requires the sacrifice of your possessions, your time, or some other precious commodity.” I believe that whole-heartily; actually I believe it always requires these things.
Without sacrifice I think it's to easy to take love for granted.
I remember sitting in church last summer praying my heart away for my marriage. I remember thinking that I was in the worst of things and that I had to stay positive and everything would surely get better. And it did, for a minute and then it got worse – much worse. I prayed for God to take my house; I knew it would be hard to sell our family’s home but that it was worth the sacrifice if that would somehow save my marriage. I thought maybe that was the lesson I was supposed to be learning – learning that it is all His and that I should not be so attached to physical things. Then in December when we sold the house and it didn’t save my marriage I began to think – really what was it all for? Lord, why did you give me this life to let it all be torn down and taken away? How could something so good go so wrong? I know that my faith is stronger than ever but is that really why God would allow a family to be broken, children to suffer, just so that I would grow closer to Him? But then I think about how I see the boys learning to lean on God through this too. Something they would have never maybe learned had we not be put in this place. Nolan was upset last week about something I simply had no control over. It was the first time I have had to put the problem back in his hands and teach him to take it to God and pray about it. It wasn’t something that momma could fix for him. We literally pulled the car over and prayed for his heart and over his situation. That’s just a fact of life but I’m not sure I would have ever thought to handle it like that had I not been in this place. I know they are watching me and I pray every day that I am being the best example possible for them. One day in our old house I dropped to my knees in prayer as I was crying about something. A few weeks later I saw that sweet boy do the same thing and my heart broke for him. To be brought to your knees is something I never had happen until this year – I had never had that level of transparency with God and felt that desperate for his guidance. I love the song “Lead Me To the Cross”. There are a million different versions of it but I like the version by Brooke Fraser the best. I didn’t understand until now what it really meant to literally be brought to my knees for His mercy and His will and to give it all to him. We have all heard testimonies of God stepping in and doing amazing things to those who really surrender everything to him. I just think it takes hardship to really surrender because it is so against our human nature. To fully give up the control and to just ride the wave. In a weird way I am so thankful for this time; it has given me a chance to really experience a love and peace that I never knew. I hope that my kids will also grow from this and become more aware of how big of a role their faith really plays in their day to day life.
