Mix Mash!

Roy and I started dating at the first of summer. It’s been six months and we have slowly worked our kids into the picture as well. We all knew each other because of church, our bible study group and Divorce Care – so I think that made it an easy and safe in their eyes. Roy even asked Nolan if it would be okay for him to ask me out on a date. So he totally felt a part of the whole relationship from the start. All through the summer we would see Roy and his boys once every other weekend and then at church stuff occasionally. I worried at first how the boys would all do together. Four boys, all three years a part is a big span in ages! But it has gone remarkably smooth!

Ross and Reese are both more quiet and kinda reserved and Nolan and Hudson are hyper and loud – it’s a funny mix of personalities and family dynamics. Of course they are older and do older kid things but when the boys and I come over to the house they are so good about keeping it all “safe” (for lack of a better word) for all ages. Ross is such a good sport and honestly seems to enjoy when we plan kid stuff to do. It’s been so much fun – almost like all of us are dating each other!  LOL. Nolan and Hudson really love spending time with Roy and the boys. They are of course the epitome of “cool” in their little minds. When we are all together, there is a lot of wrestling, video games and playing different sports. Nolan and Reese have the hardest spots in the mix. Reese is used to being the baby and where I can tell he totally likes playing the big brother role – it’s hard when you’re no longer the baby. For Nolan, he is used to being the big brother and telling Hud what to do and basically just running the show. When there are four kids in the mix – he is definitely not in that role anymore either and it’s been the cause of a few conflicts but nothing too crazy. Reese and Ross are really sweet and patient with my boys; I am so thankful for how well they all get along.

Once school started we started seeing Roy and the boys on Thursday nights for dinner since it was our only real free night without football practice and then a few times on each of my weekends. For the past month though, we have really started spending a lot more time all together. Football is over and the boys beg every night to hang out. It’s hard to find a balance. Of course it’s nice to all hang out – but it’s not like we can spend every night together. It’s turned into Nolan actually throwing fits on the nights we don’t see them. Ugh. I have tried to explain that we all have homework, errands and other responsibilities and it’s just not possible to always see each other. It’s becoming increasingly harder to keep our families separate. Just trying to keep it slow and let things happen naturally.

I know why my boys want to be them – it’s not just about Ross and Reese - it’s about their time with Roy too. Roy is so easy going and fun loving – just one of those people that you can’t help but instantly love. He loves kids and is such a kid at heart – I know the boys see this in him. He is happy and positive all the time (almost to a fault!) and together we just have this spark that I think all four of our boys see and are drawn to. We really all have so much fun together – even when something gets stressful we both handle it in the same kinds of ways and are able to resolve it quickly. I get a lot of one on one time with Reese and Ross when I don’t have the boys since they rarely go to their mom’s house. I love them and I am truly beginning to feel like a mother figure to them. They are great kids and I feel lucky to not only have an amazing boyfriend but amazing kiddos too. I could have never dreamed of all of this for myself – it is definitely God led in every sense. His boys also constantly ask when the boys will be back over. When we are all together it really does feel like a whole family. (maybe a crazy, loud and over the top family – but still a complete family) I think that it is something that all of them have missed for the past few years. Scott and I didn’t really do much as a family after March of last year and for Roy’s family it was six months before that. It’s been a long time coming and something we all really enjoy. I think we can appreciate family time in a different way than families that have never gone through divorce.  Roy and I talked a lot about it in the beginning and we never wanted any of the boys to feel overwhelmed or rushed into this relationship but luckily that hasn’t even remotely been an issue.

Raeven and Roy Anthony are also amazing young adults. I know I will never have the same type of relationship with them as I will with the boys but I love the relationship I do have with them. They are funny and loving just like their dad and when they are home we spend the weekend cutting up and joking like old friends.

 I haven’t written much about Roy or our relationship on this blog because for a while I wasn’t sure how to. This blog was created as a place to document Nolan and Hudson’s lives through my eyes. I just kept thinking of Roy and I’s relationship as “our” thing – not a kid thing. But now, especially in the last month or so though – that has shifted. This has become a much bigger part of their lives and hopefully a permanent part of their lives. As we make this shift, I want to write about it and share all of the fun we are having together. Below are a bunch of random pictures from the past few months - not in order and randomly mixed. Too much to blog about individually but still a slice of life I wanted to share!

Pics from a trip out to Catfish Plantation before Halloween - they had so much fun trying to snap a picture of a ghost.

 

 

 

 

 

 Cheeseball day at Granny's house!

 

Tannie's Birthday at Louie Louie Piano Bar

 

 

Reese in his morph suit - though he was so funny!

 

Hudson with Hot Chocolate before one of Nolan's football games!

 

Four boys...Baskin Robins...Happy Campers!

 

 Pics from Denton's birthday party!

 

 

 

 

 Hudson with his Batman Gloves that he had to wear everywhere for a few weeks straight.

 

 Nolan after church at Daddy Abuelos - best Mexican food ever!

 

Giant pumpkin we found at Kroger!

 

 

Nolan's sweet football picture - so big!

 

 The boys at Roy's neighborhood park.

 

My first attempt ever at mum making for Ross' girlfriend Bailee!

 

 

 

 

 

Hudson throwing a fit because I would not let him wear socks and flip flops to Nolan's football practice.

 

 My sweet babies with their babies.

 

 

 Making s'mores in the fireplace at Roy's.

 

Morning coffee - they thought they were SO big.

 

Best buds! 

 

 Date night!

 

 

 A few pics from our trip to Corpus - this is a "Sno-Ball" - something I had heard about for months and finally got to try.  YUMMO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Great Turkey Take Away at church - such a neat and fun service project!

 

Our helpers for delivering the turkey dinners!

 

Roy and I's first attempt at a turkey for Thanksgiving - I bought this special dry brine to rub on the turkey the day before you cook it from William Sonoma.  Roy got stuck with the lovely job of rubbing it down and putting in the brine bag - he sent me a pic over IM to show me it was done.  Cracked me up!  He said it was sooooo gross...glad he did the hard part - it came out perfect!

 

 Thanksgiving morning at Starbucks!

 

 

 My trunk on Black Friday - Mom and Becca's stuff was in here too!

 

Dinner at Pluckers - table for 8!  LOL

 

 My broken toe - ugh.

 

 Nolan's end of season football party!

 

 

 Morning date with Ryleigh and Christi!

 

 Shopping day with Kimmie - best friends for 30 years! 

 

Baking day over at Grandma's house - love this tradition!

 

 

 

 Toe two week later - still bruised all on top of my foot but looking a lot better.

 

Nana's Birthday Dinner

 

 

 

 Aunt B picks the boys up from school once a week and they are always into something fun when I get there to pick them up.

 

 Our trees...love them!

 

 Sweet Nolan before his first Spelling Bee - he did great!  I was so proud that he was in the top 12 spellers of his grade! (he did NOT get that from me!)

 

 

 Roxy is always such a good sport and puts up with anything these boys do to her!

 

Like stacking pillows up on her...

 

 Game night!

 

 My little reader...

 

Pictures I took for everyone's Christmas cards...love this family so much!

 

 Sweet Astraea

 

 

 Little Bonnie

Thankful

I am thankful for . . .

1. The health of my family.
2. Taking naps (since they so rarely happen)
3. Driving the scenic route.
4. My relationships with God, my family and my friends.
5. The Church on Rush Creek – I love that we are a teaching church, a giving church, I love that all of our pastoral staff is so passionate about keeping our church focused on what really matters – outreach within our community for the overwhelmed and under-resourced – so that we can be the hands of Jesus.
6. Brief and productive meetings at work.
7. Warm blankets to snuggle under when it’s cold outside.
8. Falling in Love.
9. For my best friends, who have always been there with quiet support, encouragement, and words of wisdom, through thick and thin.
10. My job and my co-workers who are so much more than “co-workers” – they truly are considered family.
11. New recipes.
12. Kroger
13. My sweet boys fresh out of the tub and squeaky clean!
14. Babies.
15. Blogs.
16. Wrinkle-free clothing.
17. Books and magazines, because I can experience the world, learn new things, laugh, cry and connect without ever leaving my couch.
18. Volunteer work and community service.
19. MUSIC.
20. Nolan and Hudson – I am such a lucky mom to have two brilliant, healthy, funny kiddos!!
21. The amazing relationship I have with my mom - she is a constant source of support, encouragement and friendship
22. Being one of three girls – it’s such a special dynamic!
23. Getting the giggles.
24. Good Hugs.
25. My little house and the bigger one I visit all the time.
26. Hope
27. My future and all that is in store for me!
28. A good garage sale.
29. Bubble baths.
30. Clearance racks.
31. Date nights.
32. Google.
33. Spell check
34. All those who came before us have a story to tell. That is what history is all about. So I am thankful to be able to know and learn
    their story.
35. Sitting in outside on a crystal clear night and enjoying the stars above.
36. All dogs but especially my sweet Roxy girl.
37. The beach – relaxing in the sun while listening the sound of the waves.
38. Crafts and Pintrest
39. Those perfect parking places which sometimes we are lucky enough to get.
40. The creative minds of others and what they share with us all.
41. Photos, for capturing a moment in time.
42. Relaxing periods of quiet during a busy day.
43. Living in the Metroplex – when I visit other areas I am reminded how nice it is to have such a huge variety of shops, restaurants,parks, museums and entertainment.
44. Cute Bookmarks! No need to fold pages!
45. Search engine searches that actually turn up useful results.
46. Good listeners.
47. Hand-written letters.
48. Pictures.
49. Energy drinks.
50. My Sweet Pea who I fall a little more in love with each day.

12 on 12 for November!

We ate this for breakfast: We all had kolaches from Czech Stop. I brought them home for the boys from my road trip to Corpus.

This is on our agenda: The boys both had school and it was a normal work day for me. Tonight for the first time since August we do not have football practice – YAY!!! It was a huge effort this year to get Nolan to practice three nights a week and a game each Saturday. We were all so over it by the last month. Glad to have our nights back!

This made us laugh: Nolan telling me all his funny stories from spending the weekend with Aunt B and Nana. Watching the boys play with Reese and Ross – the four of them have so much fun together and it’s precious to watch!

Last thing we purchased was: A little river otter from a cute little shop in Corpus Christi for Hudson. River Otters are our favorite animal at the zoo so when I saw it I thought of Hud and had to get it for him!

This is our favorite song: Nolan’s favorite is “Freedom at 21” by Jack White. Hudson doesn’t really have a new one right now – still asks for a lot of Foster the People and Drake songs. I have been listening to a lot of Frank Ocean and this past weekend I downloaded a ton of old school hip hop (think Warren G, Bone, Dr. Dre, Snoop, Candyman, Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer – oh yes – it was ON! Lots of fun!

We watched this on TV: We watched The Voice for a while.

This is what we are reading: I am reading It Starts With Food – it’s a very interesting book about nutrition and how we “should” be eating.  We read a Martha Speaks book before bed and Nolan read a Marvel Comic book.

We are looking forward to: Thanksgiving Break – duh! Can’t wait for the long weekend to spend time with our families, eat, shop and decorate!

We ran these errands: We had to drive out to the edge of Mansfield and scope out a spot for holiday pictures. I will probably take the boys pictures next weekend and I heard about this area and I wanted to see if I could find it and we did!

We ate this for dinner: We ordered pizza and spent the evening over at Roy’s house since we didn’t have practice. Fun night!

Today we celebrated: This is going to sound CRAZY coming out of my mouth but it’s the only thing that seemed to be on the boys’ mind…the release of Black Ops 2. Some stupid video game that they are SUPER pumped about. It had a midnight release and after we left Roy’s house they were going to GameStop to wait and get it. Even my boys were wound up about it! Too funny!

We are grateful for: I asked the boys and Nolan’s answer was “Halo and Black Ops” and Hudson’s was “Roxy” – so sweet!

Halloween 2012

The boys each ended up wearing two different costumes this year – one set for school and one set for trick or treating. Nolan couldn’t be anything “scary” at school so he dressed up as Kurt Cobain. The plan was to be “zombie” Kurt Cobain at night but after school he changed his mind. He said that no one knew who he was and he had to keep telling everyone. I tried to explain that most 8 year olds probably don’t know about Nirvana much less Kurt Cobain but he just couldn’t understand it. Anyways, since his bubble was burst he decided he just wanted to be a regular zombie – thank goodness we had an old plain white tee! He was upset that we didn’t have any of those fake wounds or sores with bones sticking out and that I had only purchased a little zombie make-up kit. I just thought the goal was a dead Kurt so I was completely un-prepared! The costume was totally going to make it or break it based on my make-up artistry and since I had never painted anyone to look like a zombie I was pretty panicked! Luckily my skills passed the test and I had a very happy, scary zombie when we were all finished!

Wood has a tradition for all of the Kindergarten class to dress up like scarecrows for Halloween. It goes along with their fall studies about the harvest and pumpkins. Luckily, I saved Nolan’s scarecrow stuff so that was a simple as pulling it out of the dress up tub! But since no five year old really wants to be scarecrow, Hudson also had to have two costumes! At Party City all Hudson looked at and talked about were costumes with muscles. He didn’t care what he was as long as it had those silly puffy muscles! Everything there was sold out in his size but we found this GI Joe costume at Wal-Mart and he was thrilled! It had a fake goatee to wear with it so I just slipped him into the suit and stuck it on. (It turned out hilarious!!) Hudson wanted to add his old sniper glasses and he was all set!

Love these sweet boys with all my heart! I am one lucky Momma!

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Random Rambling

Time flies.  My babies are getting older by the minute and I can’t seem to slow any of it down.  Our time is divided.  Our time is precious.  My heart feels empty each time they are away.  I have good company and good distractions during those times – truly God provides even when he takes away.  I know this for a fact. But it doesn’t stop that pit from coming and those feelings from feeling.  I miss my life when I don’t have them and now I miss my other life when I do have them.  Times are hard even when life is so good.  Full of contradictions – wish I knew how to get used to it.  I am blessed beyond measure but I want more or should I say I want it all. But is more ever really enough?  I feel like I am living two lives at all times now.  Will it always feel that way?  Will my two lives become one and be harder or easier? How can I be so happy but so scared at the same time?  Scared to love, scared to lose, scared to share, scared to mix it all together. I think the scariest part is that in the moment it’s not scary at all.  Not.  One.  Bit.  It’s good, it’s happy, it’s complicated, it’s honest – is it really real?  I thought I knew real before.  Lots of prayers and lots of taking it slow.  Hurry up and wait.  What is it exactly that I am waiting for again?  You spend all this time building your life – it should be with who really matters.  When it’s right – you just know it.  You love them for who they really are and they love you the same way back – not for all the things you wish you were, think you are, or should be – love without conditions and expectations.  It’s hard to accept yourself just the way you are – flawed but beautiful, strong but oh so weak.  I find myself defenseless a lot these days.   By defenseless I don’t mean I don’t have a defense – I am just not going to continue to defend the same things over and over again – it’s just too painful and honestly it's pointless.  I read something about a month ago that truly changed me.  Setting boundaries in a healthy way is when we set a boundary and we let go of the outcome.  That was huge for me to realize.  These boundaries have been set and what happens is because of their actions not because of mine.  In the moment, I have to step back and remember to just stay out of the conflict – not get sucked in, not let it become my problem, not fix it, not defend it, not argue it – do nothing.  It doesn’t suddenly make me the bad guy for sticking to boundaries that were mutually agreed to.  And the biggest thing is that I have to just have to be okay with whatever people want to think about me.  I feel like at some point actions really do just have to speak louder than words. I am so very proud of how I have handled even the worst of circumstances.  I never threw mud even though there were a lot of times I wanted to.  I gave more than I had to and it still wasn’t enough – it never would have been.  If you think you are always the victim then in your head you are. It’s not mine to cheerlead or think positively for anymore. Just like the little sign says in my kitchen "Happy is What You Make It - Always Has Been, Always Will Be." So true. Life certainly isn’t fair but I know I was. It’s over, no one got more or better – everyone lost big time.  Let it be.  I am focused on what really matters - all that matters.  The rest is junk that will fade away.