Prayers

I have so many friends and family going through really hard, hard times right now. Some of these things will be resolved in the near future – we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the bright and shiny for them or at least I know that they are headed in the right direction and will eventually see good in something that is so bad right now. Others are not so fortunate. They will have a lifetime of hardships and struggles with what they are facing. It is so hard to be on the sidelines watching someone you love hurt. I try to be positive and encouraging but realistic for them – sometimes things just suck. I’d like to think I am pretty good in a crisis – I am a “doer” by nature. So when the $hit hits the fan (pardon my French) I can step in and help with all the tangible issues that pop up – childcare, money, food, labor. Those are a no brainer and come easy for me. You need something done – just tell me and it’s done. The harder part is when there is literally nothing I can physically do to help the situation. I am so lost on those. I feel like I fail them when I can’t figure out how to help fix it. I have spent a lot of time in prayer about those type of problems. Sometimes the only thing I can do is crawl down in the hole with them and sit in the muck and love them through it. I know deep down that I can never “fix” anyone’s problems; but waiting and trusting that somehow it will all turn out okay is tough. Sometimes prayers just don’t seem like enough. Especially when I see a lot of time pass and no change in the situation – my prayers become weaker, less trusting, less faithful. Truthfully I think I just begin to lose hope. That is a dangerous place to be and somehow I find myself there a lot over certain problems. I know that’s where my faith in God must grow. I seem to be able to do it in my own life most of the time but when I see someone else struggling day after day - I can’t stand it!! Last night I started thinking – oh great, so that’s why all of this bad stuff is happening to other people – so that MY faith will grow. I certainly hope not – but in that moment, that is exactly how I felt. Lord I am waiting and I am trusting; but oh how hard that is!! These situations are overwhelming and all consuming for the people I love so much and I realize it’s completely out of my hands. Please step in – please move mountains – please let them draw near to you for the things that only you can heal and please let them begin to see the silver lining in their hardships. I am hurting, they are hurting – we need you.