I have been thinking a lot about my “word” for this year. I just could not seem to settle on one word until today. I wanted it to be something to remember each day, something to help me be a better person, something to live by for this new year. 2012 will be full of transition and changes. I have no real plan for my future. By that I mean, I have lots of ideas of things I would like to do and accomplish but as for a concrete plan of action – there isn’t one just yet. That is so weird for me. I have never been in a position like this before. No one to answer to, no one to consult about the “hows” or “whys” of my future and what I choose to do with it. I can run my household completely on my own terms. I know that I will choose for it to be a household full of love, full of learning and full of fun. We will have rules and consequences but we will balance it with compassion and understanding for each other. There will be a learning curve to everything we do this year as our new family of three evolves from our old family. I will have to learn how to discipline on my own and to try to make the best possible decision for each challenge that pops up. I know that Scott will always be there for the big things and our families will always be my sounding board behind the scenes but I have to hit the front lines alone for the first time. It’s just me on “my days” with the boys. I have to learn to depend on God to help me through it and go to Him in ways I have not in the past. It’s going to take the phrase “praying for my children” to a whole new level! : ) My dear friend Tannie gave me a static cling that has the verse “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18 I have it hanging in my office and I read it every day. I have felt so crushed over the past year. I know that the Lord is carrying me right now and that is the only way I am making it. I know that the wheels are in motion for a new path. I feel secure that He will guide me through all of this! Some days I feel sad and scared, some days I feel anxious – it’s a daily struggle. My word for this year is “SOAR”. Looking at the word, it seems a little odd. I even had to double check the spelling because it didn’t look right to me when I first typed it. I think this word encompasses all that I want for 2012.
Here is the definition:
• To rise, fly, or glide high and with little apparent effort.
• To climb swiftly or powerfully.
• To ascend suddenly above the normal or usual level: Our spirits soared.
Right now I feel like every step I take is a struggle, every decision is hard…I want that to change – I want it to feel easy – I want to give it to God and trust that I am making the right choice. Worrying is awful and time consuming and really does nothing for the situation. I am tired of being stuck in the worry trap! I want to glide through this transitional phase. I want for the boys and I to stay focused on what really matters. I want to feel the weight of this past year fall off my shoulders and to feel myself soar again. I know this will not be an instant thing but I also know the power of positive thinking and prayer. Starting today, this very moment, I am going to keep my new word close to my heart and remember it each day.
